Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Oh No He D-I-D-N-T! (Oh yes he did...)

My best friend Netty (hmm, do I sense a pattern here? ;-) went on a date with this guy last night.  Ugh, I am slightly to blame.  I’ll start with the ending of this story from the outset:

I will never set her up on a blind date again. 

Although in my defense I really didn’t set her up on the date – the guy’s mother did through me.  I’ve never met the guy; I only know his mums.  I met her at the local Starbucks a few months back, and we kept on running into each other around my 3 PM coffee hour.  When she recently mentioned that she had a son who "lived in Charlotte" and was "45 years old, single, and outdoorsy” I immediately brought up my Netty (especially since things were starting to crash and burn between her and Zoo – see previous blog entry). 

The mother and I started scheming, and a date was planned.  As Netty is always one to “go for it” (and probably motivated by her recent break-up), she gladly accepted the blind date.  The guy seemed totally up for it, too!  I thought this could be a couple-in-the-making as his mother assured me that he was “perfect.”    

Well, I received a call from Netty around 8:30 PM last night.  How odd, I thought.  He was cooking for her so she must be calling me from his bathroom… Nope, the date was OVER.  Why?  Well, other than the fact that he had “stalker eyes” and talked real slow, he said the strangest thing right in the middle of dinner, something that she just couldn’t quite get past.  As his cat strolled by while they were dining, he looked over at it and stated as matter-of-factly as if he were asking her to pass the salt and pepper:

“Oh my cat, yeah, my ex and I got that after a really bad abortion.”


Wait WHAT?

Sorry, come again?????

You got it:  “…my ex and I got that after a really bad abortion.”

He said what?


WTF?  Whether you're pro-life, pro-choice, or pro-whatever, how in the world could that possibly be appropriate table-talk on a first date?  A BLIND date, no less?  I'm totally cool about going a little deeper than "what's your favorite color."  Hell, I'm even willing to discuss "what I want to be when I grow up."  IF there's a major connection, maybe even where I'd like to spend my honeymoon and how many kids I eventually want.  But, his comment?  What was he thinking?  That should've been left for Date #20 after the "let's just be exclusive and date each other" talk.  Yeah, let's just say that Netty “came down with a stomach ache” shortly thereafter. 

Am I a bad friend?  No, she still loves me.  But lesson learned:  perhaps I shouldn’t take a mother’s word that her son is “perfect!” 

(On a side note, I'd just like to state for the record that not all of my posts will be about how crazy ridiculous men can be.  I love men, I do.  I mean, duh, I have the BEST father in the entire world.  So, I promise some pro-guy posts in the future.)

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