I Wish My Name Was Zelda

(This was sent to me by a reader, and I had to post as a guest blog. Hysterical. Thank you, Annie!)

Does this ever happen to you?  The phone will ring, I'll notice it's my friend Russell, so I answer, but I only hear distant voices in the background.  I say, "Hello?  Hello!?  Russell, is that you?"  And then, I realize ... it's just another "pocket dial."  I am constantly receiving "pocket dials."  I figure it's because my name starts with "A" and is first on everyone's contact list. 

On New Year's Eve, Dr. B (an eye doctor I met on Match last time I was on it) pocket dialed me.  I think he might have been having sex ... or maybe running.  Let's just say there was some steady, rhythmic noise going on.  I was asleep so it was just a really long voice mail.  (Thank goodness I didn't have to experience THAT one live.)

The "pocket dials" were bad enough, but now I'm getting a new technological misfire, caused by my alphabetical primacy.  So there was this guy, "Jeff" that I'd gotten as far as a phone call with on Plenty of Fish.  He sent me a text a bit ago saying he was seeing someone, to which I gave him a "hooray for you" response and wished him well.  This morning I got the following text from him:

"No u r perfect just the way you are!!  Have a gr8 day lover .."

Followed by:

"Sorry don't know how that happened :-("

Poor guy, must have been totally embarrassed.  I had to let him off the hook, so I responded:

"My name starts with 'A' so it happens a lot.  I get lots of 'pocket dials' too.  No worries!"

Of course, the fact that he put "gr8" into a text and calls his GF "lover" was enough to make me really happy I wasn't dating him anyway, but still ... I wish my name started with a "Z."

-Annie